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Why Marketing is Like Sex - and Vice Versa

Sex. And marketing. Two areas in which everyone pretty much believes they are expert.

Am I wrong? No way. Think about it.

In sex and in marketing, people are fairly stubborn in believing their way is the best way, simply because it seems to work for them! Getting people to open their minds to new experiences and ways of connecting is challenging because people don’t think their current model is broken and/or outmoded, and they don’t see any reason to fix it!

And if you think about it, sex and marketing, in many areas, have similar rules and lessons of interaction. Let’s explore a few of them!

1. The keys to synergy and a long term relationship are trust, passion and respect:

2. Passion is everything - seek ways to live it and create it. Passion feeds on passion - it’s better if both parties are passionate about each other. And passion is easy to see when it’s present.

3. Trust is a necessary foundation for any relationship. Without it, the relationship will erode. Trust takes time to create, and mere seconds to destroy.

4. Respect your market before, during and after the transaction.

5. Communication is vital. Two way.

6. Ask your market what they like - then try to give that to them better than they have ever gotten it before.

7. After the transaction, don’t assume you were awesome. Ask your market how they liked it and what could be better. Seek continuous improvement. Oh yeah, you better pay attention to body language; it speaks WAY louder than words.

8. Investigate success as well as failure. If you develop a strategy that appears to have worked really well, find out why. Ask the right questions.

9. The same thing, day after day, night after night, is boring. People will start looking elsewhere for excitement.

10. Serial and varied interactions may seem exciting, but the best long-term results are developed by a deep understanding of your market and what makes them tick. It’s the development of repeat business, and profound mutual loyalty and partnership.

11. Never lose sight of the fact that if the relationship is not mutually beneficial, it will be short term.

12. You don’t position your product - your market positions your product.

13. The positioning strategy can only be developed once you have a thorough understanding of your market and what it needs/wants, and how you might best address those.

14. You better keep an eye on the competition: what your market is looking at and finding attractive.

15. First impressions are vital. It had better be a good one. And real.

16. If you come across as being in it for you, your market won’t be back.

17. Once the sale is closed, the marketing starts all over again. Don’t fall asleep.

18. There had better be consistency in the brand message and the users’ experience.

19. Perception is reality - you better be listening to what people think.

20. Being louder will not make up for a poor strategy.

21. Making it fun and entertaining will always win more points and create more interest than foolish consistency.

22. It’s a courtship that begins, but never ends.

23. You can’t spin your way out of trouble you behave your way into.

24. Knowing your market is vital. And not all markets are the same. Each has a different set of needs and wants, and will respond differently to marketing messages.

25. Complacency will get you ditched for someone more interesting and/or responsive.

26. Long term commitment is preferred to a series of short term, temporary interactions.

27. There will be misfires - ask about it, learn from it and move on. But don’t be afraid to try something new.

28. The best results will be achieved by listening first - and by listening more than talking.

29. Be real. Don’t try to be something you are not. You’ll have to give up some of your market, but the ones you attract will be there because they want YOU.

30 There will always be people who love reading about it more than they love doing it.

31. Reading every book on the subject will not make one an expert. You must practice and experiment. And fail.

32. Failure, and learning from failure is crucial to long term success.

33. If you haven’t ever failed then you haven’t tried enough new things.

34. Two people engaged in the same transaction can have entirely different experiences. Communication afterward is key.

35. Enthusiasm can attract business sometimes when there is a glaring lack of experience.

36. Winning the head is less important than winning the heart.

So what other lessons can be applied to both subject areas? I hope readers will feel inspired to weigh in with their own ideas on the subject. After all, everyone is an expert, right?